By the end of a poem, the reader should be in a different place from where he started. I would like him to be slightly disoriented at the end, like I drove him outside of town at night and dropped him off in a cornfield.
—– Billy Collins
Oblique Strategy: The inconsistency principle
Found Poetry
A taste for pure pork fat, long restricted to a furtive devouring of the white nubbin in the can of baked beans, can now be worn as a badge of honor.
(Julia Moskin, New York Times, 5/7/03, article on pork fat in high-class restaurants)
Under 6 years: 1 pastille as required. Maximum 5 pastilles in 24 hours
(Meggezones 24x)
…on a long bus ride, you should always choose to sit next to Mrs. Robinson, for example, rather than Benjamin.
(Roger Ebert, from a review for Death to Smoochy)
Daisy, the this pretty sea, and the wind.
(Bablefish translation of the first line of a Ruben Dario poem I have stuck in my head… the Spanish is: Margarita, esta linda la mar, y el viento.)
Dolly, Good, Hernia, Bad
(big block letters on the side of a Budget rental truck in my neighborhood)
When I cruise, I’m an adventurer, eager to try new experiences. So on the second day of my first Carnival vacation, I found myself lying on a massage table wrapped in a crisp, clean sheet.
(From Currents, a magazine for people taking Carnival cruises)
Often Imitated, Never Duplicated-Great for Men and Women-As Seen on TV-It’s not magnetic, not copper…it’s the Q-Ray Ionized Bracelet designed to help balance your body’s Yin-Yang. Worn by professional athletes striving for energy, strength, flexibility and endurance, it’s also worn by people looking for natural pain relief. According to the oriental theory of Yin-Yang, we remain in good health when our negative (Yin) and positive (Yang) ions are in balance.
(from an ad for the Q-Ray bracelet, $49.95, in Dr. Leonard’s America’s Leading Discount Healthcare Catalog)
You had me at “pork fat.”
Ha! I’ve always been fascinated by the little bit that allows them to call it “PORK and beans.”
Amateurs. The only solution is to add more bacon to pretty much everything, like glitter at a drag show.
Hmmm… Pork fat or the bracelet that will solve all my yang problems… ☺
If it were only so easy.
I agree
Interesting quote… found poetry can be oddly haunting, esp from more mundane sources; instructions, recipes, medical info etc
Mundane sources… recipes, instructions – interesting ideas.
This is a great read, Bill!
And the Billy Collins quote is wonderful! I love his words, poems, and sense of humor! 🙂
Some of those other ads and quotes got a snort-laugh outa’ me! 😀
Yes, always rely on Dolly! 😉 😛
HUGS!!! 🙂
Thanks, always been a fan of Billy Collins – some of his quotes may be better than his poems.