The Dizziness of Freedom

“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”
― Søren Kierkegaard , The Concept of Anxiety: A Simple Psychologically Orienting Deliberation on the Dogmatic Issue of Hereditary Sin

Artwork in the Braindead Brewing Company, Deep Ellum, Dallas, Texas

Today I finished a difficult work project. The culmination was six straight uninterrupted hours – from noon to six – staring at multiple computer monitors with spreadsheets, database reports, pages of notes, online forms and an ancient light-powered calculator in my palm.

What surprised me was how I felt when I finished. I felt like someone had hit me in the back of the head. I was tired, sure, but very dizzy and innervated.

Does thinking really take energy? Was my noggin out of oxygen? Does gray matter get worn out like a muscle?

At home I ate a little, stumbled into bed and fell into the sleep of the dead. For four hours.

At least it is done. The world can go on.

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